NAMI EASTSIDE MENTAL HEALTH PROJECT
By Cynthia Wang
I run an anonymous message board for my high school. A friend from my old school and I made it when I first transferred, hoping for some entertaining responses, but nobody posted anything to it. I forgot about the account soon after, leaving it to rot in the depths of the internet.
I had managed to maintain a quiet yet decent life at school, somehow without making a single friend. With schoolwork and life weighing down on me, soon enough, that account was far from the front of my mind. It was only when I got a weird notification that I even remembered it existed.
Anon: I’m getting so tired of school. Every second I sit in class is unbearable. How are there still so many months left till break?
If that wasn’t the truth…
However, I notice there are more messages from this person. With a click on the notification, for the first time in months, I open up the account once again.
Anon: I can’t even focus anymore. I used to be such a good student too…
Anon: I don't know how much longer I can do this
Anon: Shoot, wait, how do I unsend
Anon: That sounded WAY worse than I meant it to
…
And just like that, the joke account I made to pass the time became a whole lot more real, and a whole lot more serious.
I notice the message is from around half an hour ago, so in a bit of a panic, I send a message back, hoping for a response.
What happened?? Are you alright now?
Anon: So, this account IS active…
Anon: Yeah, sorry. Didn’t mean to vent. I hit send on accident.
You can tell me if anything’s going on.
Anon: No, well… I guess I can explain. Just so you don’t worry anymore than you have.
Anon: My older brother died in a car accident last year. And I guess somedays I don't know how I should feel.
So, that’s it. Someone trying to reach out to anything, anyone when they need it most. That’s why they messaged this account.
Anon: I feel like most days I’m fine, but sometimes it hits me all at once at the most random times. Like I don’t want to get up out of bed, or the rest of the world gets quiet when I’m in the middle of class.
Anon: I mean, it’s already been a year, but I don’t know if I’m moving on like I should be.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Also, there’s no specific way that you should be moving on. You should just be healing in your own ways at your own pace.